Research shows that people evaluate gifts on two dimensions: cost and sentiment. They like gifts that are high on sentiment and low on cost.
Galak says that gift-giving is a powerful language, but people are often confused about what it means to speak the right language. They may confuse generosity with materialism.
1. Be Specific
One of the most important things about thoughtful gift-giving is make every moment unforgettable. This can be done by paying attention to their conversations, social media feeds, and other cues. For example, if they frequently mention their love for fiction authors, you could pick them up a new book from that genre.
It’s also important to consider the occasion. For example, a birthday might call for something more personal, while a professional milestone might require a more practical gift. By being specific with your choice of gift, you’ll show that you care and that you understand your recipient’s unique personality. This will enhance their experience with your gift and deepen your relationship. In fact, neuroimaging studies have shown that giving thoughtful gifts can even create a stronger bond between people.
2. Be Honest
The best gifts are the ones that are based on genuine understanding of the recipient’s interests and preferences. You can use social cues, casual conversations, and social media to gather this information.
For example, if your friend mentions that they’re a fan of a certain author or genre of books, you could choose a new book by that author for them. Or, if your colleague has two young children, you could give them an activity pack that would make their day.
While giving a thoughtful gift can be stressful, the joy it brings to the recipient will help strengthen your relationship. Keep these tips in mind when choosing your next gift for someone special. They may just surprise you with how much they appreciate it. Happy gifting!
3. Don’t Compare Your Gift to Others
It’s easy to get caught up in the glitz and glamour of gifting. But when it comes to truly thoughtful gifts, the best way to impress is with attention to detail. This requires a wellspring of empathy, intuition and careful observation. For example, if your recipient recently moved into their own place, you could frame a photo of the building or bake one of their favorite desserts to make them feel welcome and at home.
Moreover, giving thoughtful gifts can help nurture relationships. In fact, neuroscience research shows that a thoughtful gift can trigger feelings of happiness and evoke the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin, promoting emotional connections. This is why sharing the story behind your gift is so important. It elevates the experience and makes it more meaningful.
4. Share the Story Behind Your Gift
When it comes to gift giving, the story behind your present is just as important as the actual object itself. Consider adding a handwritten note, a packet of their favourite sweets or even a photo that evokes a shared memory to make your gift feel extra special and thoughtful.
Vohs suggests that a well-chosen gift carries more meaning than an expensive one because of its contextual relevance. For example, if you know that they have recently moved house or are working hard towards a personal goal, choosing a gift that speaks to these specific themes will make them feel truly appreciated.
The best part is, your clients will remember the story behind their gift long after the bow has been torn off, keeping you top of mind. So, when their friends ask for recommendations for a good realtor or party planner, you’ll be the name they mention.
5. Don’t Be Socially Conscious
Many people are socially conscious of gift-giving, which can be stressful and even hurtful for recipients. They worry they won’t seem grateful or happy enough, which can lead to unhelpful self-talk that dampens the impact of the gift.
Rather than worrying about how you’ll be perceived, try to see the gift from your recipient’s perspective. If you want to be appreciated, give something that speaks to their priorities and interests.
This could be a practical gift, like a new blender or a framed photo, or an emotional one, such as a poem or an encouraging letter. The best gifts aren’t necessarily the most expensive, but they’re those that are the most thoughtful and sincerely meaningful. That is the most important thing to remember when giving a gift. The thought behind it will always be more valuable than the price tag.
6. Don’t Be Paternalistic
Even in the age of “treat yo’self,” many people don’t get themselves the things they truly want. A thoughtful gift can help close this gap and strengthen a relationship.
While it may be difficult to disentangle altruism from exchange-based motives, Waldfogel’s (2002) study suggests that givers’ desire for recipient utility is likely the reason they often choose cash gifts. He points out that if givers were primarily concerned with their own utility, they would select noncash gifts.
Interestingly, some authors (like Michael Cholbi) have used Kant, Mill, and Rawls to justify paternalism in some contexts. However, this approach neglects the crucial distinction between instrumental irrationality and distortions of rationality. This distinction may be key to understanding why some forms of HDE are problematic and others are not. The distinction also applies to assessing whether giving is paternalistic.
7. Be Flexible
When it comes to giving a gift, flexibility is key. You want to make sure the gift is both useful and reflects the recipient’s interests, as well as aligning with the occasion at hand.
For example, a personalized gift that makes a stressful life easier—like a cleaning or babysitting service or an easy way to digitize old photos—is more valuable than a cushy electric recliner that will probably wind up in the office White Elephant.
Consider a group gift, which allows multiple individuals to contribute towards a larger purchase and reduce costs. This can be an especially thoughtful gift when celebrating a professional milestone, like when your client lands a new deal or launches a successful product. It also helps thwart the hedonic treadmill effect, where people quickly adapt to their positive experiences. (See our guide for tips on how to organize a group gift.
8. Be Creative
Personalized items elevate gift-giving beyond just a pleasant surprise. The time you take to understand a person’s passions, interests, or even a long-held desire transforms a present into an emotionally impactful expression of thoughtfulness.
People often drop subtle hints about what they want or need without actually asking for it. Paying attention to these social cues, such as a wistful comment or lingering glance at storefronts, can reveal valuable insights into their preferences and interests.
Using this information to choose a thoughtful gift is a fun way to show that you care. You can also use creativity to present your gift in a memorable way. For example, you might cut a framed piece of art into 20 pieces (similar to a jigsaw puzzle). Then, present it to them as their gift with the challenge of reassembling it.
9. Be Flexible with Time
It’s important to be flexible with time when gifting, so you can give a gift that’s unique and thoughtful. This means taking the time to learn your recipient’s tastes and preferences, such as their favorite foods or activities. This knowledge can help you discover the perfect present that will make them smile and show your appreciation for their unique personality.
This information can be found in casual conversations, wistful remarks, or lingering looks at storefronts. It’s also possible to discover their desires by browsing their social media posts or online wishlists.
Personalized gifts are a great way to show your care and attention, but they don’t need to be expensive. Consider group gifting to stretch your budget and add a personal touch. Alternatively, explore do-it-yourself options like custom photo albums or handcrafted items that can be made with love and will inspire gratitude from your recipients.
10. Be Flexible with Money
Having a good understanding of your recipient’s interests and preferences is essential to choosing a thoughtful gift. Pay attention to their social cues, casual conversations, and even what they post online to learn their tastes.
Research shows that people judge gifts on two dimensions: substance and sentiment. When gifts are high on substance but low on sentiment, they’re not as appreciated.
A gift doesn’t have to break the bank, especially when you consider the value of the sentiment behind it. Personalized items, like framed photos or homemade baked goods, are great ways to show you care without breaking the bank. Similarly, group gifting can be an effective way to celebrate an event with a team without having any one person shoulder the full financial burden. You can also opt for branded gifts that are less expensive but still spark joy.
